Dear 16 Year Old Self…

My Sweet 16th Birthday. I had my best friends over for dinner. I’m holding my hand out because my parents bought me a beautiful ring and I was showing it off. When I look at this picture I see a child on the edge of becoming a young woman. But back then I definitely thought I was already a young woman. I knew it all. I had my whole life sitting in front of me. My favorite music was Motley Crue and Guns N Roses. I thought it was cool to go out and drink. I had been around alcohol my whole life. It’s what I was supposed to do, right? We drank mostly beer. And drank a lot of it. One night I decided to drink and drive. A friend was spending the night and we both thought I was the better choice to drive. I was driving HER car, drunk. We approached Hoover Country Club and before we knew it we were in a sand trap on the golf course. As I pressed the gas pedal, sand started flying into the sunroof. We were stuck and late for curfew. But somehow I got the car out and off we went home. We cautiously pulled up to my house and before we could even get out of the car my parents were coming out the door. I don’t know where it came from but I started spouting out lies, lies, and more lies. “Someone stole the car while we were at Putt-Putt. We came out to the car and it had grass hanging off the front of it and had several dents. We didn’t know what to do so we just drove it home and that is why we were late”. Hmmmm…now that I’m a parent, I can see why my parents didn’t buy my brilliant (drunk) story. The next day we went by the Country Club and we saw the damage. We literally broke through a fence and went in between two trees onto the golf course and landed in a sand trap. Between two trees… We should have hit one of those trees. But you see…I had an angel always watching over me. I escaped death many times in my teenage years. My angel was my grandma. I felt her presence every single time I escaped death. So, Dear 16 Year Old Self~ Why were you such an idiot? Why did you think you were invincible? Just because you had a childhood full of struggles and unhappiness was that an excuse to have no regard for the life God gave you? Each choice I made had a consequence. It’s that whole if you chose to travel down the left road your life goes like this. Choose the right side of the road and your life goes this way. Just ONE single choice, one single decision made the difference of what road I would choose. But at 16 you don’t know that. Two of the people in this photo are dead. One by suicide and one by a tragic car accident. How or why was I saved? Did God have a plan for me? The answer is YES! So Dear 16 Year Old Self~ Be thankful for all the bad decisions you made. It led you to the woman you are today. Each bad thing that happened allowed you to be grateful for the smallest of things. A home, food on the table, electricity. Things most take for granted. And guess what… just because you’re around alcoholism doesn’t mean you will be an alcoholic. You get to CHOOSE your path. And our God is forgiving so if you stray from your path, you can easily get back on the right path. There are MORE stories of escaping death and my guardian angel…they will come out in time. Until then…