Love After Heartache

I saw him across the room. His smile. His hazel eyes. I knew he was the one. He was shy, me, I was a party. I walked up to him. I brought him out of his shell. He was the stability I was looking for. After that night we were together. We saw each other between classes. He was a Junior while I was a sophomore. I loved the way he smelled. I loved how he made me feel important. He loved The Doors. We listened to music in his Isuzu Jeep. He played me so many different songs. Each one I adored. I wanted to be with him but that damn past of mine. It made me not trust. It made me think, “He’s going to leave me”. So I always had my guard up. We went to dances together. We were a couple. He loved me and I loved him. Then he graduated. How would we stay together? I was still in high school and now he was in college. He sent me cards in the mail each week. He’d surprise me and come home. He’d place a note on my car….he was with me again. He went to my Senior prom with me. It was the best night. I just knew we would be together forever. He was my first true love. I decided to go to college near him. Only 45 minutes away. The start of my freshman year things were going well. We saw each other every weekend. His smile was my weakness. I don’t think he even realized what it did to me. I had not known Love. But he showed me what Love was like. But I had a past. I always thought he was leaving so I would do foolish things. I’d cheat on him(kiss other guys) because I was always waiting for him to leave me. Looking back, I was not nice to him. Why he stayed with me I’ll never know. But he eventually had enough. I was not normal. Seriously something was wrong with me. And he finally had enough. So after 3+ years together he ended things with me. I was heart broken. I knew this day would come. I was used to people leaving me. But I took this hard. I drank my sorrows away. Then I’d call him. Beg him to come back to me. I think I was border line stalker. He came from a normal family so this was too much for him. After my freshman year I went back to Birmingham. It was over. This man-boy was NOT going to be my happily ever after. But that’s were God comes in. Gods plan was in place. Would I accept it? I finally did. I just thought I was meant to be alone. And I was ok with that. I had my friends and that’s all I needed. Then one night I went to Senor Frogs. And there he was. I had met him my senior year. My love and I were on a break. He was in college. He was the most beautiful person I had I ever met. But timing was not our friend. So it was brief but boy did we have a connection. So now several years had passed. And we locked eyes at that bar. He was shy. I was used to shy boys. But his friend came up to me. Wait, what? No!!! I’m not interested I want your friend to come over here. And then he did. His blue eyes, those long eyelashes, his skin, his smell. That was it. God placed this incredible man in front of me. My broken heart was instantly healed. This was real. This was the man I was supposed to marry. So God took my broken heart and showed me what REAL love looked like. Would I mess this up like I had before? Could he handle this hot mess of a person that stood in front of him? He could handle it. Can u believe it? This broken shell of a person found true love. A man that loved deep and hard. He questioned my crazy past but did not let that stop him from loving me. It wasn’t perfect. But it was RIGHT. This man loved me good, bad and ugly. I still wonder how I was lucky enough to find this kind of love. And now 24 years later I thank God for this blessing of a love like no other.God knew who I was meant to be with. His plan was in place, God doesn’t make mistakes. Tell that to a 16 Year Old girl in love. It’s funny like that. You question things but you can’t. It’s God’s plan. And boy what a plan it is. This beautiful-man is my husband now for 21+ years. It’s how hard you’re willing to fight for Love. Love is not perfect. Marriage is hard work. But the reward is worth the work. Thank you God for showing me the way. Thank you for showing me heartache can be healed by true love. When you are at the end of your rope, hang on tight. God has everything controlled. You think it’s your plan. It’s not. And if you really open your heart and eyes you see “The Plan” and it’s beautiful. The love I feel for this man cannot be compared to anything. I thank God for the lessons learned with my first love. It lead me to my real true love. There are a lot of holes to this story but they will be revealed in my book. And the holes are the juicy parts. But this blog is a glimpse. So for now, that’s all you get. You get the gift of knowing that heartache can be healed with true love. ❤️❤️