When the Devil Shows His Face

I believe things always happen for a reason. God placed a beautiful child in my life June 2017. She was broken. She lived a life of heartache. Nine schools in 8 years. Shelters, homeless, neglect. I thought I could love her enough to take away all the heartache. No more shelters, no need for the basic things in life. I could do this. Then I couldn’t. She was self destructing. She didn’t know love. She thought love was sex. If a boy wanted to have sex with her he loved her, right? Then the video went viral. She didn’t know he was videoing them. But he was. He shared with friends like a trophy. Did he know that the broken soul he videoed was broken? Did he know this would push her over the edge? She called me from school. “I’m sick, can someone check me out?” She’s checked out and home alone. She’s preparing her exit from this world. Not knowing I would come home to interrupt her exit. The bath was half full. The razors and sharp objects lay neatly on a towel next to the bath. I interrupted her death plan. God sent me there. I did not know at the time why. But God was I control. The suicide letter as my daughter found it and screamed and cried. I fell to my knees. I had failed her. I was to fix her and I failed. We go to the emergency room. We are there for 27 hours until a bed becomes available. Then I leave her. All alone to be in a room all by herself. My job is to protect her and I was leaving her all alone. All I wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything would be alright. But would it? How do you recover or move forward? How do you make sure she’s safe? This beautiful little girl who is broken. I’ve given it to God. Please use me to serve you. I will do whatever you want me to do. Please lead me. There are days when you feel like letting go. I’m going to let God.